THANK GOD I SURVIVED MALAYSIAN POLITICS!

by INVISIBLEWRITER001

1. I you wanna jump into politics? Malaysian politics to be precise? You need to master a few ‘kemahiran’

2. The ability to jump like a frog. “The higher you jump, the harder you fall” does not fit into

3. Malaysian Politics equilibrium. Jumping will take you to higher ground.

4. Learn to speak without thinking.

5. Never remember what you’ve spoken yesterday. It’ll forever haunt you.

6. Learn how to ‘derhaka’

7. Do not mind your own business

8. Eat lotsa ‘Tempe’ if you aim to be pleasing in the eye of your constituents

9. Do not maintain your car. The state government will take care of it.

10. Get a blog but get someone to write for you.

11. Befriend ‘bomohs’ and ‘pawangs’.

12. Always carry an electronic device to check for bugs and hidden cameras.

13. Have a PhD. Anything from USA or England worth quite a lot in terms of career prospect. Worst case scenario, anything from Sudan is good enough.

14. Knows how to sing. Memories a song or two. “My Way” never failed to impress.

15. Go after local celebrities. Make them 2nd or 3rd wife.

16. Have colorful arrays of ‘Baju Melayu’ but only black colored songkoks. Do not try to emulate the late Sudirman’s Baju Melayu.

17. Don’t learn to speak English

18. Have selective amnesia

19. Fight for presidency of any sports association. Kabbadi and Silambam are good enough. If there ain’t enough for all politicians, create new ones. Persatuan Guli Unggul Malaysia (PENGULUM), Kesatuan Lompat Katak Kebangsaan (KELOPAK) or Kersatuan Congkak Kebangsaan (KOKAK).

20. Play badminton

21. Support Manchester United

22. Do not question your leader

23. Make sure your sons are AP holder. Not 1 AP but a few APs.

24. Learn to say “It wasn’t me” or “Let the court decide”

25. Must not have any food allergies. Due to lotsa functions and meetings you have to attend, be
prepared to have a gamut of food!

26. Always remember that the rakyats are no smarter than you. That’s why they got you to represent them.

27. Develop good sense of humor. Preferably jokes where you the only one who understands it.

28. Practice your plastic smile and master beauty queen wave.

29. Have a stunt double, in case you infuriate some kampong folks.

30. Always give whatever the constituents wants.

Above are some of the qualities needed to be a politician in Malaysia regardless race or political parties you support. This list might expand over time. But remember, whatever quality you might have, cash money does make wonders. I have RM10 in my bank account and I wanna be a politician.

Bukit Selambau Part 1

by C.C Toh

The Fact. N25 BUKIT SELAMBAU

Total Voters: 34,977 Race Percentage: M:50.20% C:19.25% I:29.53% L:1.02% 1.

V. Arumugam (Bebas) (13,225) 2. S. Krishnan (BN) (10,863) Majority: 2,362

Total vote: 26,450 Voters percentage: 75.62% Damage vote: 2,362 Former

Assemblyman: Datuk V. Saravanan (BN)(Majoriti: 7,695 undi)

Every Malaysian will once again will focus their attention to Bukit Selambau. After 11 months being Bukit Selambau Assemblyman, V. Arumugam had resigned immediately, causing shock to the whole nation.

He tendered his resignation as Kedah Exco a few days after several complaints made by the 500 residents of Sungai Petani. Hence, by-election will be held at N25 Bukit Selambau.

The Election Commission of Malaysia had announced that the Bukit Selambau nomination date is on March 29 and the by-election will be conducted on 7th of April 2009.

Bukit Selambau was famous once after the winning of PAS in 12th National Election on 8th of March, last year.

The N25 was famous after a controversial decision on November last year, announced by Kedah’s PAS State Government to endorse a HIGH-TECH PIG FARM PROJECT at Bukit Selambau.

The project had been cancelled by PAS state government due to environmental factors and series of demonstrations.

The candidates. Traditionally, Bukit Selambau seat was contested by MIC, but UMNO Merbok had a press statement demanding the seat.

The seat was won by "bebas" candidate V.Arumugam on the last national election over S.Krishnan of MIC.

Arumugam then joined PKR and become one of the Kedah State Exco. PAS had also in deed wants the seat and ex-PPP woman chief also offer to contest as "bebas".

MIC demands of the Bukit Selambau seat due it was traditionally contested. MIC got a good track record on winning the seat for 3 consecutive national elections.

It was a great win by Datuk V.Saravanan with 7695 majority!

Will Najib answer the Samy Vellu’s call? The rumors said that ex Lunas assemblyman, Dato’ Ganesan had started the game by meeting with local UMNO leaders to gain support.

UMNO Merbok’s Division, Datuk Tajul Urus, demands contestant for N25 Bukit Selambau assembly seat will be chosen from UMNO.

The reason is due to the majority of 50.2% of Malays in the DUN and that seat was one of the UMNO seat before it was compromised to MIC.

Will Najib make the right path for Tajul’s demand?

While PAS is also in conflict with PKR demanding the seat from Pakatan Rakyat, PAS notice that the Malays are the majority in DUN Bukit Selambau and of course they are worried to lose the DUN’s seat if Malay voters go for UMNO’s candidate!

Will PKR just simply allowing the seat to be given to PAS easily? Will PKR’ de facto leader compromised the seat and hurts his Indian buddies? Let us wait and see.

There must be a good "drama" to be watched. The rumors spread that 6 candidates are now lobbying to contest the seat!

Four buses are seen to enter Bukit Selambau area campaigning for the candidates.

Some of them are eager to meet Merbok’s Parliament Member to gain support from him.

What a chaos for PKR! In the meanwhile, the Malays PKR also setting up their own candidate. It seems to be a fiesta among them.

How about the Ex-PPP G. Sarala? Suddenly she claimed that she will gain good support due to her locality. She looked so confident to win the people of Bukit Selambau votes! So optimistic! While ex MIC "Puteri" also rumored to contest the by-election on "bebas" ticket.

Two "bebas" females’ candidates for Bukit Selambau?

DAP also had been said to take part in this game. The rumors saying that two candidates are now lobbying their position in contesting the Bukit Selambau’ DUN.

Will they "cut" out PKR and PAS to represent Pakatan Rakyat?

If the candidate presented by BN or PR are Indians form MIC or PKR, and G. Sarala be a "bebas" candidate, I was assured by a good friend of mine that he will definitely contesting the N25 Bukit Selambau DUN’s seat.

He is Malay. He is very well known among the Bukit Selambau residents of Malays, Chinese, Indians and Siamese.

Well wide experience in politic though he was ex-UMNO leader in UMNO Merbok Division.

He quit UMNO at the same day as Tun Dr. Mahathir. But he will contest in one condition, "the BN candidate must be an Indian" than he will join the battle of the "hill"!

It can be a fiesta of democracy in Bukit Selambau or it can be turn to be a disaster for Bukit Selambau residents?

The people will judge. The people will use their power to choose the best candidate.

They will get a lot of choice and make sure that they will choose someone who is with "moral values".

Pening In Penang

by INVISIBLEWRITER001

I’m from Penang. A true blue Penangite. Whenever I have my long break, the only place I could think of is Penang. I don’t wanna go anywhere else. Everything is there. We have good food, nice chicks, good sets of hills, used-to -be-nice beaches, historical buildings and confusing roads (that’s what people told me). So there’s no reason for me to go anywhere else.

Penangites are a unique bunch of people. Like someplace else, they swears at their long lost friends before even greet them. Whenever they give direction to vacationers, they’ll tell them

“Look for Komtar and you won’t get lost”. Penangites worships food. And they’re quite thrifty too. They won’t pay for any food that cost more than RM 5.00.

I once went to a school where the teachers don’t allow us to speak any language except English. If not for that visionary thought, I won’t be writing here. Some of the students there can also speak or understand more than 3 languages. I know some non Chinese who speaks Hokkien. Even I can understand smattering Hokkien. My favourite mamak mee goreng speaks 5 languages. I swear that Penang is a country on its own.

Take politics for example. Once, a future Prime Minister was from Penang. Current Prime Minister is from Penang. The late first Prime Minister spent his retirement in Penang and the 4th Prime Minister called this island ‘Darul Sampah’! Where else on earth can you find an island being glorified as being rubbish?

Penang has a unique political scenario. Whatever it is, a Malay can never the Chief Minister. I have no problem with this. In fact I take it as a blessing in disguise. From this silent agreement, the best Malay politicians don’t have to waste his time on this island state. They can focus their time to serve directly at national level! Only the poor, least visionary politicians stay to be ‘jaguh kampung’.

A few years back I laughed at the idea mooted by UMNO asking the post of Chief Minister to be given to Malay. For once, every single UMNO unanimously have consensus on something. Before this, they were never together at anything!
This current time you’ll see top Malay leaders in Penang basically leading a division. In recent years there were not real challenges in Division election. A young upstart can never topple down a division leader. The leaders are like warlords who rule their kingdom. You’re either with them or you’re out. From this you’ll see how the warlord claws their kingdom.

If you’re a true blue Penangite, ask yourself this question….”Where are the best Penang Malays?” Are they in Penang or somewhere else? Let me answer it for you. The only time you can see all the best and successful Malays is Hari Raya Puasa. So what’s left in Penang? Go there and find out yourself.

Is UMNO doing something to address the under supply of Malay professionals in Penang? Did they try to lure these Malays to return and serve in the state? The answer is no. Why should they get someone smarter to return home? They someday might plot something against you!

That’s the fear among the warlord.

Malays on Penang Island are the poorest. They’re proud to have the Prime Minister from this state but can they proudly claim to own the land on this used-to-be-very-beautiful island? Go figure how many Malays owns big chunk of land on the island. “Tanah tumpah darah” is just rhetoric for Penang Malays. They don’t have any more ‘tanah’ for their ‘darah’ to ‘tumpah’ on.

There’s a long lasting issue on squatters in Tanjung Tokong. The issue came to a standstill for god knows how many years. Where is UMNO? What have they done to these people? Go down and speak to them and find out first hand their predicaments. Their problems have been swept under the carpet for more than 20 years.

Those days, their windows open up to beautiful scenery of the beach. But today, the beach has been reclaimed and price of the properties there are beyond their reach. The scenario there is akin to ‘Antara Dua Darjat’. After 20 years, has the local UMNO leaders done anything? And the funny thing is, their predicament pit them against a GLC, UDA. The warlord claim to be championing rakyat’s issue, and they can’t even take it against another GLC. They want the Chief Minister’s post but they can’t even settle this 20 years issue.

There are many things to talk about Penang. If they’re serious about taking over the state, try to settle the small issues first. They can begin with Tanjong Tokong. Once settled then we can ‘DREAM’ about taking back the island. And please stop tearing up pictures. It’s damn childish and immature act. You think the youngsters wanna be in the same party with immature? In your dream!

MALAYSIAN FOOTBALL TEAM: THE FINAL SOLUTION

by Invisiblewriter001

This is one association that need to be revamped totally. The leadership up there refused to step down despite calls for them to do show. I believe everyone would agree that they’ve overstayed their welcome.

Football is the number one sports anywhere in the world, except maybe the US. And where are we now? Number 160+ I guess. Look at the scenario. Our national football team is a joke that betting against them is a sure bet you gonna make money. You can never lose betting against Malaysia.

One wondered what is the problem with Malaysian Football? Countless discussions have been organized to stop the downfall. Miles of paperwork have been presented to address this decline.

So, what’s the problem?

I don’t the exact problem. But one thing for sure, after years of attempts to stop the rot and nothings has ever worked, I think it’s high time for those at the leadership level to quit. Maybe the rots started from there.

FAM had tried many ideas but nothing worked and the last place to work on is the leadership itself. Have a total revamp of the top hierarchy. There are too many politicians up there. Look at our politicians. They’re clowns! My concern is whether they’ve inflicted their disease onto FAM’s leadership. And I believe they’ve done so.

The situation in FAM is beyond repair. It need total overhaul. Bringing super coaches or managers won’t help address the situation. We’ve had good coaches who failed to do anything here but succeeded elsewhere. Assess that!

Since we’re on a downward spiral, there’s no shame if continue to go down. Take this as an opportunity to experiment. If climb up the rank, consider it a bonus. If we maintained the position, it’s a success. IF we go down the rank, there’s nothing to be ashamed of since we’re going for broke!

What I’m suggesting is that we get some crazy bunch from Tanjung Rambutan to fill the leadership post. No one will take them seriously hence the team manager and coaches will have a free hand handling the team.

The coaches! Get a National Hero, someone like Kanang anak Langkau to be the goalkeeper coach. The mantra is “Guard your post at all cost!”

Get a former rugby player to coach the defenders. Employ a former dispatch rider or Mat Rempit to coach the strikers, as they can coach them to whizz thru any roadblocks or defenders.

As for midfield coach you need someone with vision, someone who can see the big picture, in total darkness or when they’re clueless. This role goes to the people behind crop circles. They’re someone who can help the midfielders to imagine as if they’re up there like a bird looking down when in reality they’re on the field looking forward, and sometimes running backwards! Their visionary, observant and meticulous skills are good assets.

The best manager for Malaysian football team should be a former ‘warden penjara’. If he can manage Sg. Buloh Prison, Malaysian football team is peanuts!

3 STOOGES, THE FUTURE UMNO YOUTH LEADER

by INVISIBLEWRITER001

One is busy minding other political party’s business.

The other has the charisma but is too cunning for the party’s own good.

The last choice seems to be diplomatic and too nice for a youth leader.

I’m talking about 3 candidates for UMNO Youth Chief. Gone were the days where firebrands roam within UMNO. This was prevalent in UMNO then. They were the one who will fight for the rakyat.

Unfortunately the voices are muted; they’ve turned docile like a domesticated Panthera tigris malayensis.

What happens when cats turned into kittens? The rakyat will look somewhere else for security.

They need someone else to fight for them. In 2008, the rakyat have shown what they can do. So, listen to what they gotta say. And this is what UMNO Youth used to do. Listen and speak out on behalf of the rakyat.

This is the problem when the youth who used to voice out for the rakyat, today is part of the government mechanism. How can the youth expose the wrong doings of the government or bring forward the problems faced by the rakyat when they themselves are part of the system?

The challenge for the next youth leader is to bridge that gap. Forget about cabinet position. Go down to the grassroot and be the voice of the rakyat. Let the Prime Minister lead the nation and the Youth leader lead the rakyat. But unfortunately today, there seems to be lack of potential leader among the youth rank.

There are 3 of them vying for the position. Khir Toyo is busy being a micro analyst. Trying to analyse every single move made by the Selangor State government and questioning every single decision made. Maybe he should question the amount of money the state government spent on toilet papers.

We the rakyat don’t need a leader who is so busy ‘jaga tepi kain orang’. Let them do their job. If we’re not happy with their performance, we’ll chase them out come next election, like what we did to him. We want him to look into our problems. In fact these problems have deep rooted during his leadership.

Khairy Jamaluddin is too cunning for his own good. He has the charisma. He’s articulate and to some extent considered quite brave too. At some point especially today, UMNO need a brash Youth leader.

To some, KJ is like Anwar when the latter was in the youth leadership. And they also thought he’s like Anwar today, someone who can’t be trusted. A snake with devious plans. Harshly put, someone who would sell his soul to the devil.

What about Mukhriz? Well…I have doubt. He got a lot of nominations because behind closed doors, majority hates KJ. And with Pak Lah leaving, they gave their nominations to Mukhriz.
I don’t think he’s brash. I don’t think he’s that articulate. He doesn’t like confrontation and he don’t believe in provocation.

He’s more of the diplomatic type. UMNO Youth don’t need it, let the Prime Minister be diplomatic. UMNO Youth need someone that will take the bull by its horn, someone who is willing to go heads on against his nemesis. And as far as Mukhriz has proven, he didn’t have that.

What UMNO Youth need is a nice ‘bad boy’. Someone who is articulate, smart, has deep sense of responsibility for the rakyat, who don’t mind confrontation and provocation and not forgetting, someone who’s easily accessible without too many gatekeepers.

In a nutshell, a bad boy who works for the rakyat, not the government!

Malaysian Politics As I See It

by ABANG KOJAK

Evolution of Politics And Its Reasons for Existence

The evolution of politics is inevitable due to changes in the life and times of people. In tandem with these changes, domestic politics evolve due to pressures within the international sphere.

For example, increase of oil prices and economic crises force goverments all over the world, rich and poor, to grapple with loss of confidence from its peoples.

This is evident in the case of Gordon Brown’s Labour Party leadership in Britain, as Britons are forced to deal with higher cost of living.

Nicolas Sarkozy’s government in France is also not spared from the people’s demand to have
their basic rights protected from the effects of an economy in crisis.

The same scenario in Italy, as Italians are losing jobs to weakened economy. Much anger is felt across countries in Southeast Asia as price of goods rise as a direct effect of the oil price hike.

Philosophy tells us the importance of politics to protect the lives of the people.

Politics takes form of a mandate given based on social contract of the majority to leaders in their quest to protect the rights of the people, to drive prosperity in their countries so that living conditions continue to improve from time to time and that the people can live in contentment and peace.

In reading Nizam Al-Mulk’s The Book of Goverment or Rules for Kings, one is increasingly aware of the importance of having accountable leadership for the very reason that politics must exist.

One needs to remember that if politics is used for only personal gains to obtain wealth will not benefit in the long run as it could backfire on such leaders as the people would rise against them.

It should, therefore, Nizam’s book be made a reference to all leaders and those interested to immerse themselves in politics.

In that, for as long as politics and the business of doing politics continue to evolve, its main aim cannot be cast aside – politics exist to serve and protect the people!

Perception of Politics vs. Trust?

Crisis of perception often occur due to events involving political actors. This is exemplified by the 6-year imprisonment of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim for sodomy, which was said to a by-product of Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad’s political conspiracy.

However, it is imperative that political perception must be corrected by channelling the correct information to the people. What happens if the information fails to correct the people’s perception?

Then this is no longer the crisis of perception, instead, it has become an issue of trust.

The crisis of the peoples’ trust is the crux of the problem, when even given much explanation about the issue does not dissuade them from continuing to believe that there is a political conspiracy afoot.

Hence, how does one manage political perception in this day and era? Media is the available forum to correct the people’s perception.

In order to play an effective role, the media must maintain its avenue as the source of correct information.

The question lies with the current mainstream media – is it a viable source of information?

Today’s emergence of blogs provide an immediate challenge to the ability of conservative media channels to provide information to the people regarding many issues.

Come March, as the new leadership takes over, this aspect must be given utmost priority. Media practioners can no longer adopt the World War II mental paradigm.

Those chosen must lead the nation’s top media organisations towards an efficient way to “deal” with the people’s trust.

Another question arises – are the current practices of journalism adequate and suitable to deal with the explosion of the technology of communication and information?

Political Alliances in Malaysia

Racial diversity in Malaysia is a great influence on the politics of the nation. There is no party which successfully gained 50% of Parliamentary seats without considering this major factor, making it compulsory for alliance formation in Malaysian politics.

After Independence, the Malaysian government cannot be formed by any political party in isolation.

This issue becomes the forefront of the political upheaval in Perak which witnesses the fall of Pakatan Rakyat’s rule after the ‘hopping party’ incident.

As far as political alliance formation practices go in Malaysia, without a doubt, Barisan Nasional (BN) has stronger foundations as compared to the opposition’s set up.

The success of this alliance lies within its voluntary policy. Even though none of the component parties obtains absolute gains, partial gains make up for losses while at the same time, such alliances becomes a mechanism for conflict avoidance.

Jeremy Boissevain’s study in Friends of Friends: Network, Manipulators and Coalition, 1974, observes: All of us have problems which we at least attempt to resolve via friends and friends-of-friends with whom we may even form temporary alliances.

Boissevain makes another interesting observation: Everywhere people compete with each other and search for allies to help them achieve their goals. People everywhere thus engaged in politics, for they compete directly, via friends and friends-of-friends for valued scarce resources, for prizes which form the important goals of their lives.

The observation explains why the ties within the Pakatan Rakyat is so brittle. The example of Perak has illustrated that the Pakatan Rakyat leadership paid a heavy price for playing the ‘blame game’ after its political representatives hopped parties.

This also points to the fact that between DAP, PAS, and PKR, the differences of their political agenda is miles apart.

Persona Non Grata

by INVISIBLEWRITER001

This is a low blow. C’mon! It’s not fair. I know you have every right to do so but using this law showed desperation on the part of the state government.

I’m talking about the 2nd MP from PKR being denied entry into Sarawak. The reason given was that he’s not from Sarawak, so he’s not entitled to enter the state without permit or pass.

I don’t understand?? We’re talking about another state within Malaysia. I do understand Sarawak has special arrangement in regards to Immigration law. What I’m trying to understand is why the sudden interest in pursuing this section of the immigration law? Why now?

This is a Member of Parliament. MP R. Sivarasa is not a hardcore criminal. He’s not there to plan a robbery. If he’s someone of dubious background, ban him from moving an inch in this country. Tie him to the flag pole at Dataran Merdeka.

What’s funny, he was in Sarawak last July for World Rainforest Music Festival. Within 7 months MP Sivarasa has turned from a politician into a persona non grata.

What’s next? Who’s next? It’s like the Wild Wild West. You can shoot anyone without justification. In this case, you can ban anyone from entering your state without any reason.

These are the kind of action that will make the ‘rakyat’ hate the government. Leaders who acted like a recalcitrant is a sure bet to be given the boot by the ‘rakyat’ come next election.

Just imagine in the next general election, how many members from the Opposition parties will be denied entry into Sarawak? I’m not surprised Anwar Ibrahim, Lim Kit Siang, Hadi Awang and even Dr.Lo’Lo Mohd. Ghazalie will be the next victim.

I think it’s high time the state and federal government look into this ancient Immigration Law.

The world is getting smaller. Travelling between Peninsular and East Malaysia is getting cheaper and faster. Simply put it, everything have changed except the Immigration Law. And I don’t think such law is relevant anymore

When the government is trying to bridge the gap between people in Peninsular Malaysia and East Malaysia, this ancient law is pushing them apart.

I’ve never foresee that one day I will face problem travelling to Sarawak. Unfortunately after reading this piece of news, it can happen to anybody. And the sad part is, the person behind it will abuse this law as they see fit. If this continues, the state government is signing their own death warrant. An advice to BN, forget about campaigning in Sarawak. No point in doing so because the state government has charted their own demise. Why waste the money, might as well spend it on the poor in Sabah.

Giving low blows to your opposing fighter won’t help you garner support. It might backfire, where the ‘rakyat’ sympathize with the opposing fighter.